Four and a half months later.

I’ve been out of action for quite some time now, on all of my creative outlets, really; both my blogs, both my YouTube channels, and my novels are going at a snail’s pace. I’ve been active on Tumblr, plus the usual Facebook and Twitter, but that’s it as far as things go, so life’s been pretty dead around here. I’ve been busy with my newish job, but I’ve still frittered away lots of my free time, although in the past week or so, I’ve been feeling creativity slowly flowing back to me, so it’s only a matter of time before I’m back filming for YouTube too. 🙂

One of the first things I want to mention is that while I’ve been AWOL, I’ve become quite active in feminism groups – I’ve always felt feminist, but up until a few months ago I thought of the label as a sort of dirty word, a stigmatized word that I didn’t want to be a part of. Now I proudly embrace the label, and feel I must heavily apologize for what was my last post on this blog – The Burden of YouTube Popularity. I failed to recognize that the YouTubers I mentioned are victims of the patriarchy too, and that they are just as influenced by that and the media as we all are. It was unfair of me to put them on pedestals and forget that they are human beings like the rest of us. I rescind most of what I wrote on that subject, though I will keep the post up, especially as there was a comment left on it that I think people would appreciate if they read the post with their nostrils flaming.

I’ve made a lot of lovely friends through my feminist presence online, and as much as having my eyes opened to a worse world than I realized, I’ve enjoyed the journey. I still have so much to learn, but I am willing to learn, and I am never going to stop fighting for every single one of us, that we may be free of the shackles of patriarchy.

As I mentioned, I’ve been working a lot, but since it’s in retail, it’s been pretty soul-destroying. No, I do enjoy my job a lot, but in terms of productivity and creativity, it really doesn’t offer much. I have agreed with myself, and my brother since he’s doing the same thing, that by the end of the calendar year, we shall have a game plan – whatever it is. I know my working there is temporary, and I need to push myself so as not to end up settling for less. My 23rd birthday is at the very end of the year – the 31st, in fact, so quite literally so – so I feel it’s good timing. My brother as part of his therapy is setting aside certain time each week for making progress on a sort of ‘life to-do list’, and he’s involved me in that, at his psychologist’s suggestion, so options will be carved out quite soon. I know that without my own input, life cannot change, and go all the awesome new ways I’ve always hoped it would, so I’m making a massive effort from now on to get myself where I want to be.

Certain things I’ve massively procrastinated with – even getting my room redone. I’m needing to drastically reduce my belongings, and get my walls painted, and make my room a wonderfully creative space in which to work. I need to get back up and running with both my YouTube channels, since I’ve had lots of plans for them for a long time now. I need to restart the Cover Version Tuesday contest that I was posting each week on this blog. I need to move a lot faster with my novelwriting, and write more poetry.

I can’t keep calling this a post-graduation funk, nor can I let another funk keep me away from all the things I love for so long again. Here’s to hoping I get back on the wagon for good 🙂

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